Thinking out loud while "changing my thinking"

in Him

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“(I can’t get no) satisfaction”

satisfaction by rolling stones 2

The old rolling stone hit, “(I can’t get no) satisfaction,” seems to capture a very present reality in today’s society…(feel free to click this YouTube link

The lead singer starts off with the title line, and follows it with the repetition of how he has “tried”… over and over, to no avail. But as simple as these lyrics may seem… the summary of the efforts placed on reaching satisfaction, and the message, of how “ideas” are sold to us through marketing/branding… is absolutely brilliant.

From radio to TV to magazines to social media… there is practically nothing left that is NOT designed to feed our imagination with “must-have” desires. The conditioning is almost inescapable.

But reality is…You will never become fully satisfied and secure in any position in your life…until you stop comparing. Whether this position is within your job, relational, activities, material possessions or even in self-reflection …it is a losing battle.

Over the years, I have spent a great deal of time evaluating myself and people around me, against what I believe… and what I have come to realise, and agree with, was well expressed by Neil Anderson…we all have the same basic needs: identity, acceptance (love), security and significance…But the real challenge comes in how we choose to have those needs met.

For me, I have constantly looked to the world to fulfill my needs… and boy has it failed on every level possible.

From my wild partying, dare-devil days… to indulgences in sexual lusts for the sake of wanting to “feel” loved and important to someone…to pleasing people for approval…to wanting some role or status that will place me in the lime light of admiration.

Each and every one of my strivings, have failed miserably. They have left me broken, lonely, angry, confused, without hope… and crazy enough… coming back for more. <SHOCKER>

The idiom “kill two birds with one stone” is not unfounded. In one sweep, the attempts to fulfil my needs have given me instant gratification….but have also left me fearful of loss.

What the world does not tell you… is that the very platform you are striving to take hold of, waivers. Just as we are guaranteed to get older the longer we live… we can also rest assured that people’s opinions of us will change…jobs can be lost…trends modulate… you name it!

Yet, there is a tendency to “come back for more.”

I can not even go into how many times I have repeated destructive cycles and found myself asking “how did I end up here again?”  Completely illogical when you lay out the cause and effect.

The earnest search for fulfillment…the longing to be satisfied in life…can not be found in what the world offers.

Working out for the sake of being healthy is great…but should not be confused with weight loss obsessions that give you the illusion of being more acceptable to people…or even yourself.

Peoples compliments/encouraging words about our character are timely…but should never be the source of our identity and significance.

Attaining degrees, having the “six figure” income, a place you can call home, a spouse and children, (etc) are all gifts…but should never be what we place our security in.


At the end of the day, God is the only constant. He is my source of hope. He is the only one that will meet my needs the way it should be. Please do not interpret this, as me saying I don’t need people… because that is not true. We all do. The harmonies God creates through the right relationships… “are vital to becoming a whole person” (Keep your love on by Danny Silk). What He has made available is where true satisfaction can be attained…and that’s the beauty of this journey.


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Where does this all end?


As I heard my phone alarm go off, still in a state of daze…I laid there… and all I could say to Him is, “I am tired, I don’t want to get up…”

For most people, this is the norm. This is there natural response to wanting to continue their love affair with sleep. But for me, this was a cry of uncertainty as to whether I can keep going on.

I have always been one to wake up early… (like it or not)…energetic… lively…and a lot of times, really happy and/or joyful!. But this past week and a half especially, has been sheer torture.

I have literally run myself into the ground in every possible way and have reached my limit. The point where the hidden questions and deep thoughts of my heart make it to the forefront of mind like loudspeakers on max.

The Why’s, What’s, Who’s, When’s, … you name it… they are all there.

Clearly, very emotion driven at this point because I am physically worn out… but the good thing about these moments… periods… what I can refer to as “desperation points”.. is that I become all the more convinced of … certain of… why I am in the state I am in… what it’s going to take to get out of this state… who I can truly depend on… and of when (hopefully) and where I can finally find my rest. When I come to these points.. I begin to realise what’s an illusion and what’s real. I begin to see through the “smoke and mirrors” all over again… and the path… the ONLY path becomes more obvious…

Sad to say, but i’m also beginning to realise how true it is that suffering… in whatever form it comes in, seems to plunge us into these points of despair, making us all the more willing to find the source of our hope… our faith… whatever that might look like to the average human being. Some search for it…others return to it…either way, no one can truly do without it…

We are in need…and those needs have to be met.Image