Thinking out loud while "changing my thinking"

in Him

Good laughs, good eats, good happenings = Good trip (Raleigh, NC)

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The journey north was long but overall, FUN. Not only did my group (lab mates) get to truly just be in each others company for a change…which is a nice deviation from the standard meetings, etc… I think we actually enjoyed each other… I can definitely speak for myself, that I enjoyed them. Each person had a different flavour… each person was key in playing off/feeding into another…and there were some little one on one moments that I will definitely cherish. I thrive on such times when we can just connect, as people, on a different level.

I love my group/my co-workers. Oh and the singalongs.. who would have thought these serious faced scientists had it in them to get goofy and “serenade” a restaurant.

I also had the opportunity to re-connect with old friends… man I love those guys.. had no clue her brother was even back in the country.

But in reality, we went to Raleigh for the SEMRC conference.. but can you tell that was not the highlight of my trip?

On a different note, so many little things happened at this conference that truly just left me encouraged.

First I got a letter that turned down my application for a travel award,… then the recant saying that the first letter was a mistake. This is after I had already started talking to God about me accepting my app being turned down. Then I saw the professor who essentially marked the beginning of my graduate career completely changing course… like literally, this is the man I went to GA tech to work for… and yea… long story short, decided he did not want to keep me due to limited funding, etc. And from that point, I have gone through 2 other advisors (rough experiences)…I also ran into my favourite graduate advisor from GAtech.. and we had the opportunity to catch up.. he is still so adorable and forever looks like a baby…. I don’t understand it. And then the talk…despite being completely unprepared… having to present other people’s research… and totally insecure about that. Once again, the peace that surpasses all understanding hit like a wave.. and the comment I got was that I was “smooth”… lol. go figure.

I could not help but think after all these things of one word… restoration.

Not sure why, but that word popped in my head many times… cause all I could think of was how I saw flashes of my past… and could stand. I remembered how a long time ago… one of the two advisors I have gone through since that first one…told me I had something special.. the way I commanded the room while delivering my original proposal (my very own, original idea… i forgot I actually created a project back then)… to my committee at GAtech.. and I remembered how worthless I felt when I stood at UF a failure… low… told I could never get a doctorate…. and I saw myself now, inspired… working hard (though that’s  definitely draining at times)… with a boss who seems moody, that I rarely see yet supports me in true faith of my potential… and another boss who thinks I can master anything… overcome any challenge (I tend to go down kicking and screaming but eventually allow God to make up for where I lack)…

So many memories flew through my mind.. its like I came full circle.. I was so confident before… it all got torn down… and slowly but surely…I am being rebuilt.. but on the right foundation this time… one that is sturdy… one that will last regardless of the stamp of approval.

This was a good trip… and I have a lot to think about.. a lot to be thankful for. Cause even though I see areas in my life that are lacking and need repair… man… nothing can take away from what is.


Author: ladyhallow21

I am simply just me. Some people consider me free spirited...some consider me conservative. I have been told I am dominant, moody, playful and charming... but those are all just personality traits. Who I am is defined by who my Father calls me, his daughter...though adopted... I was chosen... and have an inheritance... so yes... that is who I am. in the midst of this, I am not a cookie cutter person... I am very much an expression of an individual. I love to travel...I love food...and I love people. :)

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