Thinking out loud while "changing my thinking"

in Him

The Cardinal Sin

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I have been out-of-town for 2 days, with a large group of what I will refer to as my adoptive family (truly love the bunch). But before I expand on other thoughts and experiences I had during the trip…there seems to be a greater sense of urgency for me to uncover a huge error on my part…

As you can imagine, I was tagging along on a family vacation to Universal Orlando…so naturally, this in itself, is a somewhat chaotic venture being that we had 8 adults, 1 teenager, and 2 babies (a 5 and 3-year-old)…all piled in 2 hotel rooms (not suites by any stretch aka SMALL)…and 2 vans.

My little sister and myself, were assigned to ride with the married couple and their 5-year-old for the trips to the theme parks… so during these periods I was able to see, hear, and basically share in the experience of their married life… whether I wanted to or not. And trust me, I am leaning more to the NOT.

It’s one thing to witness my spiritual parents marriage, where a certain level of comfort and understanding has developed over the years of our growing relationship.. it’s a totally different ball game when dealing with people who you feel at home with (definitely give them credit for being warm and welcoming)… but have rarely encountered…aka AWKWARD!

What I came to notice is that the husband appeared to have the same “always right” attitude that I have come to not be a fan of…despite my own friends saying I have the same quality. But it was not so much the attitude that bugged me, as it was the way of speech… the sarcasm, the tone, … all seemed pretty disrespectful… though the transparency is admirable… it struck a chord with me…

As I watched the occasional bickering over minor details such as when and how directions were given… to temper tantrums over being hit a certain way – though there was an attempt to dial it down with justification of how the hit was executed … to criticisms of what was being done… etc…

Now here I have to PAUSE…

Mind you, I identify with these things… I throw tantrums over minor things because I want the other person to acknowledge how what was done to me was in fact significant just because I feel that way

And as much as I don’t like to be constantly corrected aka criticized when I do things, I am also known to be the criticizer…to the T.

But watching these things as an outsider makes you realise all the more why they wrote a book called “putting away childish things”…

So during one of the few distasteful meals we had there, while he was messing with me and just being his typical self… I made the comment, “all I have to say is [your wife] is truly special and very patient”… SMH SMH SMH … oh boy… joke or not…serious or not… real or not… WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!???!!!  WHO DOES THAT!!!???!!!

At the time, I did not think too much on what I said, but when it came back in the midst of another one of those bickering’s.. I thought to myself, you truly over stepped your boundaries…

As he mentioned sarcastically, “why don’t you find something else you can criticize […]”…and said how his wife had a fan (me.. smh)… I was like… man… you surely should learn to just shut up.

I meant no harm by my statement.. but it taught me a real lesson…never commit the cardinal sin of inferring and/or interjecting nada, when it comes to married couples… for at this point, they are one. Whatever is said even suggestively about one half… can be harmful to the other half…even if it seems not to be so offensive.

I sent an apologetic text this morning after I got over the, ugh… how should I rectify this situation… and he graciously let me know they took no offense…

Life lesson learned!

 

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Author: ladyhallow21

I am simply just me. Some people consider me free spirited...some consider me conservative. I have been told I am dominant, moody, playful and charming... but those are all just personality traits. Who I am is defined by who my Father calls me, his daughter...though adopted... I was chosen... and have an inheritance... so yes... that is who I am. in the midst of this, I am not a cookie cutter person... I am very much an expression of an individual. I love to travel...I love food...and I love people. :)

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