Thinking out loud while "changing my thinking"

in Him

The Decision

Leave a comment

Sad to say but today is my last day in TN…I would specify a city but I am still torn between saying I am in Sevierville vs Pigeon Forge…

Unlike my plan from last night to sleep in…I was up at ~6:40 am this morning as usual… and began my morning on the balcony once again…taking in the beautiful view of what I have now determined to be Mt LeConte. Fresh air, crisp…slightly nippy winds… and sunrise! Absolutely beautiful. Have thoroughly enjoyed being here…it’s going by way too fast!

But this morning, I was debating on how to spend my day… should I use this day to rest as I initially planned to…read…write… watch movies… just flat out rest? Or should I venture back to Porters Creek Trail…which I randomly stumbled upon yesterday. Hmmm

As you can imagine, I decided to go… birkenstock sandals and all. I left home a little after 9 am and was excited and hopeful that the path would be pretty barren because yesterday it was really crowded with families and couples… if I was going to pull this off… I needed some serious solitude time to motivate myself.

I started off very positively… I even drew myself a map of how to get there since I had no map and was tired of getting lost LOL

I have a few videos of the positive energy I had pulling into the national park…the fascination with how beautiful nature is etc…

By the time I parked and proceeded to use my carry-on luggage to bring refreshments… I realised that if I was going to hike these 4 miles (round trip)…. WHAT LIES BY THE WAY!!! (more like 7.5 to 8 miles round trip…I was going to have to travel light… so I placed my OFF spray in on pocket..  keys in another… an apple in another… cell phone…and took a full bottle of Smart water with me… thank God!

I had only seen about 3 cars and was thrilled because this meant there were very few people present. But as I began ~ 10 am… I started getting scared of the unknown… not only was I by myself on this trail… I also had no clue if I would just happen to run into a bear… or who knows, even a snake… definitely one of my spontaneous moments where I did not think things through… the incline was steady and I made a few pit stops to take pictures of water rushing down stream… and as I continued I saw 2 couples… one with a baby. The women marched ahead… not bothering to even make eye contact with me… so the men behind them passed by as well.

At this point all I was hearing were birds… and leaves… and water… and I started praying because I was just plain old scared… I had no clue what was up ahead… I knew that this trail was considered moderate and was happy that it was also supposed to be short… (that’s when I thought it was 4 miles)… but what would I do if I saw a bear? Would I take a pic or freak out and run? I had no clue…

Eventually I saw this elderly couple ahead of me… and felt some sense of comfort in knowing they were there… we exchanged some words…and I found myself at a bridge of some sort…the wife, wished me luck on my endeavors as I passed them and kept on… then I got to a fork… at this point one sign said 2.7 miles Porters Creek Trail… while the other was deviating to some other trail… I thought to myself… hmm… is this accurate? 2.7 miles? If round trip was meant to be 4 miles… why would this show 2.7?

As I kept on, I noticed I was no longer walking on a wide gravel road (basically small rock chunks laid out to maintain the path)…it had gotten a little narrower… and I was now at an incline. I paced myself, determined to keep going…FAST FOWARDING

I soon passed what I determined to be the last couple I would see returning… and oddly enough this gave me some hope…I got to a small waterfall opening and thought to myself maybe there is some major waterfall at the end of all this… but I also noticed the path was getting narrower… and very rocky… so at several intervals, I started asking myself whether it was worth continuing up the incline.. which was also getting steeper.. or if I should just turn back around… my birks were rubbing so hard against the inside of my feet that I just knew friction blisters were going to form..but was grateful I chose them instead of my water shoes because these rocky paths were no joke…

My fear seemed to be growing as the path go narrower and narrower.. with endless trees and bushes to my left and right…one side where u could basically tumble down into rocks and water….so I kept talking to God on the way to reassure myself that He would protect me and guide me… that I was not alone…

The funny thing is… I triumphed on this journey…it had nothing to do with me completing the trail… because believe it or not… after a little over 2 hours.. and seeing that the path was getting even MORE narrow and really steep… and my feet were definitely not happy… I made the decision to turn back around.. I kept wondering if I was missing out on my reward… like some glorious view of raging waters falling a 100 feet down.. or something… my curiousity made me want to discover what was left to be seen… but then I asked myself is it worth it? What if there was nothing else? What if all that was left was more trees and my pride because I felt “accomplished”…like I succeeded at something… like I had another moment of “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (when I hiked a part of the French Pyrenees years ago)…

Well I decided to turn around… but what I hit me as I stumbled back down the path…. More insects flying into my eyes… rocks slipping from under my feet… and almost destroying my ankle like 2 or 3 times… was that I was no longer afraid… I had gone through this intense journey… praying to God in fear of what was out there… but now I had no fear… no fear of the path behind nor ahead… and now when I talked to Him… I was just grateful at how far he brought me.. the strength he provided… and was intimately sharing feelings and desires with Him… I went through this journey.. and came out stronger… and more willing to trust Him in everyway possible with my life…

Ironically as I headed back down.. I began to run into multiple couples, families, etc… that were on the path… and I also realised I had accomplished way more than I thought. Even though I am out of shape… had the wrong shoes on.. etc… majority of these people were turning around way sooner than I did… and I was surprised… I was surprised that I had actually done more than others…

I got back to my car 3 hours and 39 minutes later… by this point, I was so proud, relieved, and glad I made the decision to venture through the trail.

Advertisements

Author: ladyhallow21

I am simply just me. Some people consider me free spirited...some consider me conservative. I have been told I am dominant, moody, playful and charming... but those are all just personality traits. Who I am is defined by who my Father calls me, his daughter...though adopted... I was chosen... and have an inheritance... so yes... that is who I am. in the midst of this, I am not a cookie cutter person... I am very much an expression of an individual. I love to travel...I love food...and I love people. :)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s